Day: 15/01/2017

OLIVIA FOX CABANE ~ THE CHARISMA MYTH ~ 2012

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~ INM-ILB ~ It’s Not Magic – It’s Learned Behaviors

~ CCBPOMAATN ~ Charisma Can Be Present One Moment And Absent The Next

~ WMTWCFP-WMTTWCFL-WBTALAWSA-IOTLOBCOOT-BWW-WWNFPIAI-PWSI ~ We May Think We Can Fake Presence – We May Think That We Can Fake Listening – We Believe That As Long As We Seem Attentive – It’s Okay To Let Our Brains Churn On Other Things – But We’re Wrong – When We’re Not Fully Present In An Interaction – People Will See It

OBLSACMTOPRART-ALOASL ~ Our Body Language Sends A Clear Message That Other People Read And React To – At Least On A Subconscious Level

~ WYMB-YBM-BYMCTTDBIAR-BCACIS-YBLWADC ~ What Your Mind Believes – Your Body Manifests – Because Your Mind Can’t Tell The Difference Between Imagination And Reality – By Creating A Charismatic Internal State – Your Body Language Will Authentically Display Charisma

~ YISIC-GTISR-ATRCBABLWPFA ~ Your Internal State Is Critical – Get The Internal State Right – And The Right Charismatic Behaviors And Body Language Will Pour Forth Automatically

~ AID-EPOM-CIHYF-HYP-A-HOPY ~ Any Internal Discomfort – Either Physical Or Mental – Can Impair How You Feel – How You Perform – And – How Others Perceive You

~ NN-DAYTAA-JBYMCUWSDNMIHAV-AYMALOE-MOWCBP ~ Neutralizing Negativity – Don’t Assume Your Thoughts Are Accurate – Just Because Your Mind Comes Up With Something Doesn’t Necessarily Mean It Has Any Validity – Assume You’re Missing A Lot Of Elements – Many Of Which Could Be Positive

~ DTCYBAWH-CR-EDTBSL-DTCB-AFMEAHSTATROIE ~ Deciding To Change Your Belief About What Happened – Cognitive Reappraisal – Effectively Decreases The Brain’s Stress Levels – Deciding To Change Beliefs – A Far More Effective And Healthier Solution Than Attempting To Repress Or Ignore Emotions

~ GCWD-FOTMSOYPDSADP-IGYMSCTFOOTIGCTTSIU-IAHTAOBYIIFP-AKCOC ~ Getting Comfortable With Discomfort – Focusing On The Minute Sensations Of Your Physical Discomfort Serves A Dual Purpose – It Gives Your Mind Something Concrete To Focus On Other Than Its Growing Conviction That This Situation Is Unbearable – It Also Has The Advantage Of Bringing You Instantly Into Full Presence – A Key Component Of Charisma

~ TBC-YMFLTOTPOTC-ID ~ To Be Charismatic – You Must First Learn To Overcome The Primary Obstacle To Charisma – Internal Discomfort

~ NUNTBRTTMODRAFYETHTN ~ Neutralize Unhelpful Negative Thoughts By Remembering That The Mind Often Distorts Reality And Filters Your Environment To Highlight The Negative

~ TSWTFBWYFAITFYSWO-TNOT-ATSHIETSOCTYV-YCATSEJBITH ~ The Surest Way To Feel Better When You’re Feeling Anxious Is To Flood Your System With Oxytocin – The Neuropeptide Of Trust – A Twenty-Second Hug Is Enough To Send Oxytocin Coursing Through Your Veins – You Can Achieve The Same Effect Just By Imagining The Hug

~ G ~ Gratitude

~ OATOOTMRN-WOWBTMLITW? ~ Of All The Options Open To Me Right Now – Which One Would Bring The Most Love Into This World?

~ IMBHTFOSCTOSE-TFIBOSA-TLOSEASC ~ It May Be Healthier To Focus On Self-Compassion Than On Self-Esteem – The Former Is Based On Self-Acceptance – The Latter On Self-Evaluation And Social Comparison

~ CAOMSICTUYFCP ~ Creating An Optimal Mental State Is Crucial To Unleashing Your Full Charisma Potential

~ BIE-AETWIYMS ~ Before Important Events – Avoid Experiences That Would Impair Your Mental State

~ YBAYM-PATRPAFETAMOAADIS ~ Your Body Affects Your Mind – Practice Adopting The Right Posture And Facial Expressions To Access More Of Almost Any Desired Internal State

~ PLPWALT ~ People Like People Who Are Like Them

~ OAIEBDABL ~ Overall Appearance Is Evaluated Before Demeanor And Body Language

~ TOWTSPUMOIYCIN-‘I’-B-‘Y’ ~ The One Word That Should Pop Up Most Often In Your Conversation Is Not – “I” – But – “You”

~ PRDLTHTT-TMYLTS-TMTWLY ~ People Really Do Love To Hear Themselves Talk – The More You Let Them Speak – The More They Will Like You

~ ICTMOFGAT ~ It’s Critical To Make Others Feel Good About Themselves

~ DTTIP-LTIY ~ Don’t Try To Impress People – Let Them Impress You

~ PAYWTFYPIT-DMTFBOW ~ People Associate You With The Feelings You Produce In Them – Don’t Make Them Feel Bad Or Wrong

~ OPAOP-TRISITGSWIIA-A-S-O-D-P-TCTBLBYATCTM-ALATBIIACEM-IWBNITGTMTFSD ~ Our Physiology Affects Our Psychology – The Reason It’s So Important To Get Someone Who Is In An – Angry – Stubborn – Or – Defensive – Posture – To Change Their Body Language Before You Attempt To Change Their Mind – As Long As Their Body Is In A Certain Emotional Mode – It Will Be Nearly Impossible To Get Their Mind To Feel Something Different

~ OATPSRISS ~ Our Adherence To Personal Space Rules Is So Strong

~ AOBIS-YATSR-ITTF-C-R-A-C-WYNGEOAYBTIIFOFM ~ Anytime Our Breathing Is Shallow – You Activate The Stress Response – It’s Hard To Feel – Calm – Relaxed – And – Confident – When You’re Not Getting Enough Oxygen And Your Body Thinks It’s In Fight-Or-Flight Mode

~ AA-S-C-PP-WMYFMCAMP-AYFMP-YBLAA ~ Assuming A – Strong – Confident – Physical Posture – Will Make You Feel More Confident And More Powerful – As You Feel More Powerful – Your Body Language Adapts Accordingly

~ WOWSTAPLM-ONCSTAPEM ~ While Our Words Speak To A Person’s Logical Mind – Our Nonverbal Communication Speaks To A Person’s Emotional Mind

~ NCAVCWTTAC ~ Nonverbal Communication Amplifies Verbal Communication When The Two Are Congruent

~ WVANMC-WTTTWWSITOPBLMTWWHTS ~ When Verbal And Nonverbal Messages Contradict – We Tend To Trust What We See In The Other Person’s Body Language More Than What We Hear Them Say

~ TEC-YECSTOP ~ Through Emotional Contagion – Your Emotions Can Spread To Other People

~ AAL-TECBYBL-ED-B-C-E-CHAREOYT ~ As A Leader – The Emotions Conveyed By Your Body Language – Even During – Brief – Casual – Encounters – Can Have A Ripple Effect On Your Team

~ WPCTYINOR-FMTBL-TLTTM-C-O-A-C-P ~ When People Come To You In Need Of Reassurance – First Mirror Their Body Language – Then Lead Them To More – Calm – Open – And – Confident – Positions

~ WPAD-BTBLL-BHTSTOAOSTWHTLFTT ~ When People Are Defensive – Break Their Body Language Lock – By Handing Them Something To Look At Or Something They Will Have To Lean Forward To Take

~ TPP-TUS-ABS ~ To Project Power – Take Up Space – And Be Still

~ COVANRLHBAEU ~ Cut Out Verbal And Nonverbal Reassurances Like Head Bobbing And Excessive Uh-Uh-Ing

~ TWTN-TMIIIFTRTFTYTUTATYATWT-TIWTITO-GW-C-A-E-CI ~ The Worse The News – The More Important It Is For The Recipient To Feel That You Truly Understand Them And That You Are There With Them – This Is Where The Internal Tools Of – Good Will – Compassion – And – Empathy – Come In

~ WC-TTPIASAPAWTBYWTC-GITRM-OOCAE-WPFTYHTBIAH-ICCTDE ~ With Criticism – Try To Provide It As Soon As Possible After Witnessing The Behavior You Want To Change – Get Into The Right Mindset – One Of Compassion And Empathy – When People Feel That You Have Their Best Interests At Heart – It Can Change The Dynamic Entirety

~ AS’IVS’DWFPAFWCWW ~ A Simple – “I’m Very Sorry” – Delivered With Full Presences And Full Warmth Can Work Wonders

~ CIPEICS ~ Charisma Is Particularity Effective In Crisis Situations

~ EHEOP-ACYCCITATRTTO ~ Express High Expectations Of People – And Communicate Your Complete Confidence In Their Ability To Rise To The Occasion

~ AABV-SYCIYATRTV-AADTAI ~ Articulate A Bold Vision – Show Your Confidence In Your Ability To Realize That Vision – And Act Decisively To Achieve It

~ SVWMYMLAMR-AWPPFEYTBSHAPAKAAR ~ Showing Vulnerability Will Make You More Likeable And More Relatable

~ CIAPT-UIR ~ Charisma Is A Powerful Tool – Use It Responsibly

LINDA TIRADO ~ HAND TO MOUTH ~ 2014

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~ RIALFTR ~ Rest Is A Luxury For The Rich

~ JFIAPTWAATH-WWWGTU?-WHVFOT ~ Junk Food Is A Pleasure That We Are Allowed To Have – Why Would We Give That Up? – We Have Very Few Of Them

~ NLPPP-BTJAEH ~ Nobody Likes Poor People Procreating – But They Judge Abortion Even Harder

~ NGETTD-YHTUTWKTWWNNFT-WWNFH-WWNGAV-E ~ Nobody Gives Enough Thought To Depression – You Have To Understand That We Know That We Will Never Not Feel Tired – We Will Never Feel Hopeful – We Will Never Get A Vacation – Ever

~ IS-IE-IATBO-WIATTTWOMS-ICSAGFAH-WIAEABDAIOAOMT-ICSAIFALB-JFAM ~ I Smoke – It’s Expensive – It’s Also The Best Option – When I Am Too Tired To Walk One More Step – I Can Smoke And Go For Another Hour – When I Am Enraged And Beaten Down And Incapable Of Accomplishing One More Thing – I Can Smoke And I Feel A Little Better – Just For A Minute

~ WYNHEMICTHM-IIHALOIITST ~ When You Never Have Enough Money It Ceases To Have Meaning – I Imagine Having A Lot Of It Is The Same Thing

~ PIBACOYLTB ~ Poverty Is Bleak And Cuts Off Your Long-Term Brain

~ WDPLTBIWDWJGOHB-IBNTH-YJTWYCGAYSI-ICSD-BIS-TA ~ We Don’t Plan Long Term Because If We Do We’ll Just Get Our Hearts Broken – It’s Best Not To Hope – You Just Take What You Can Get As You Spot It – It’s Certainly Self-Defeating – But Its’ Safer – That’s All

~ TISWLIFRATOTC ~ This Is Just What Life Is For Roughly A Third Of The Country

~ YCPADICA ~ You Can’t Pay A Doctor In Chickens Anymore

~ BHABPAGMEC-WK-WJCAI ~ Being Healthy And Being Poor Are Generally Mutually Exclusive Conditions – We Know – We Just Can’t Afford It

~ IHJRATTWI-TWL-TWHIWGTBUID-TBICHFWTNAOTTWHAOTO ~ I Had Just Realized Again That This Was It – This Was Life – This Was How It Was Going To Be Until I Died – The Best I Could Hope For Was That Not All Of These Things Would Happen At Once Too Often

~ INASMAIRT ~ I’m Not Angry So Much As I’m Really Tired

~ ICTMMEAAFDOLAW ~ I Can’t Tolerate More Mental Exercise After A Full Day Of Logistics And Worry

~ WSTDWAD-MPPDWUFRAR ~ We Start The Day With A Deficit – Most Poor People Don’t Wake Up Feeling Refreshed And Rested

~ AIOOTFETCPD-ISETPTTH-SAWLOPLMHOTOA-WCI-TA-ALFM-IASODN ~ Anger Is One Of The Few Emotions That Can Penetrate Depression – It’s Strong Enough To Punch Through The Haze – So A Whole Lot Of People Like Me Hold On To Our Anger – We Cherish It – The Alternative – At Least For Me – Is A Sort Of Dreary Nothing

~ NTYSSB-‘S’-O-‘R’-TBNTT-ILYBTFPTDSIH ~ Next Time You See Someone Being – “Sullen” – Or – “Rude” – Try Being Nice To Them – It’s Likely You’ll Be The First Person To Do So In Hours

~ TTW-WSLH ~ That’s The Worst – Watching Someone Lose Hope

~ P-O-P-O-WC-WLO-NE-YA-YFIIAMTW-IDTPWHNBPQUT ~ Poverty – Or – Poor – Or – Working Class – Whatever Level Of – Not Enough – You’re At – You Feel It In A Million Tiny Ways – I Don’t Think People Who Have Never Been Poor Quite Understand That

~ WSB-IA-F-Q-HOD ~ We Smoke Because – It’s A – Fast – Quick – Hit Of Dopamine

~ UYPTCMTSASAKMP-TP-SMTL-IKIBFM-IA-NA-TARTIS-ATRO-TKMA-TKMG ~ Unless You’re Prepared To Convince Me That Smoking And Smoking Alone Keeps Me Poor – Then Please – Spare Me The Lecture – I Know It’s Bad For Me – I’m Addicted – Not Addled – There Are Reasons That I Smoke – And They’re Reasonable Ones – They Keep Me Awake – They Keep Me Going

~ IHTUWTAFGAYIFSISMDTTTAAB ~ I Have Trouble Understanding Why Taking A Few Grand A Year In Food Stamps Is Somehow Magically Different Than Taking Trillions As A Bailout

~ YBAHLCWYP-SMOYBITUWPRCTTSLBAFOT-LL ~ Your Brain Actually Has Less Capacity When You’re Poor – So Much Of Your Brain Is Taken Up With Poverty-Related Concerns That There’s Simply Less Bandwidth Available For Other Things – Like Life

~ TSAMAIETLABOIQP ~ The Stress About Money Alone Is Equivalent To Losing A Bunch Of IQ Points

~ SMIATTE-WFRANLWFEETMITTD ~ Self-Medication Is A Thing That Exists – We Fake Rest And Nutrition Like We Fake Everything Else To Make It Through The Day

~ IKTAACOMCPWHTALPILCTSHEBLP ~ I Know That Any Actual Cure Of My Chronic Pain Would Have To At Least Partly Involve Lifestyle Changes That Simply Haven’t Ever Been Logistically Possible

~ ABDIOMDTTAM-AFYMDCOWFAWHBEFSMR ~ A Balanced Diet Is One More Detail To Throw At Me – And For Years My Diet Consisted Of Whatever Food At Work Had Become Expired For Service Most Recently

~ TRTPPWUCIWTSPSDITATCSCM ~ The Reason That Poor People Wind Up Coping In Ways That Seem Pointlessly Self-Destructive Is That All The Constructive Stuff Costs Money

~ BPII-YNH-TTT-TTHO-TMTDA-YLTMIPOYTTDOS ~ Being Poor Is Isolating – You Never Have – Time To Talk – Time To Hang Out – The Money To Do Anything – You Lose The Most Interesting Parts Of Yourself To The Demands Of Survival

~ WDNHBFWM ~ We Do Not Have Babies For Welfare Money

~ SCIWASCISTDWII:ASLAOSTTPAMTHWOCCLD-MBBSPL ~ Stop Calling It Welfare And Start Calling It Something That Describes What It Is: A Subsidy Like Any Other So That The People Actually Moving This Huge Wheel Of Capitalism Can Live Decent – Maybe Basic But Still Pleasant Lives

~ PIFE ~ Poverty Is Fucking Expensive

~ IIATTTWAACRM-ASAFPWM ~ It Is Amazing That The Things Which Are Absolute Crises For Me – Are Simple Annoyances For People With Money

~ OESTBROC-AIRDSPPW ~ Our Economy Seems To Be Run On Credit – And It Really Doesn’t Serve Poor People Well

~ BPIAC-IJFLI ~ Being Poor Isn’t A Crime – It Just Feels Like It

~ ISUTSPBPFTTHDW-IPMAHSIIVOAL ~ I’m So Used To Seeing People Being Punished For Things They Haven’t Done Wrong – I’m Pretty Much Always Half Sure I’m In Violation Of A Law

~ PSTBIAOTP-BGCATSE ~ People Seem To Be Increasingly Afraid Of The Poor – Building Gated Communities And Taking Separate Entrances

~ YGCTPTACPJETODEM-JSDTWPWY ~ You Guys Can Totally Pretend That Anyone Can Possibly Justify Earning Thousands Of Dollars Every Minute – Just Stop Demanding That We Pretend With You

~ YGLPRTAODAAUWSRCADATB ~ You Guys Look Pretty Ridiculous Talking About Our Drug And Alcohol Use While Swanky Rehab Centers Are Doing A Thriving Business

~ YCCATBAATASWPGP ~ You Cannot Cut Access To Birth Control And Then Act Surprised When People Get Pregnant

~ YCCBATOAADOACOOIWAHT ~ You Can’t Choose Between A Terrible Option And A Dreadful Option And Come Out Of It Whistling A Happy Tune