PRIYA PARKER ~ THE ART OF GATHERING ~ 2018

~ TWWGM ~ The Way We Gather Matters

~ ID-TFTAIOOTFRGTEI-ICDIA-OOTFTTGITRTA ~ In Democracies – The Freedom To Assemble Is One Of The Foundational Rights Granted To Every Individual – In Countries Descending Into Authoritarianism – One Of The First Things To Go Is The Right To Assemble

~ WSPLG ~ We Spend Our Lives Gathering

~ II-TW-AGIG-TDWHIIAHSII ~ It Is – The Way – A Group Is Gathered – That Determines What Happens In It And How Successful It Is

~ DWYRG ~ Decide Why You’re Really Gathering

~ ACINAP ~ A Category Is Not A Purpose

~ R-TGEO-MG ~ Routine – That Great Enemy Of – Meaningful Gathering

~ CT-AGAS-S–TMFAPAGI-TMNIFIATMPIA-U-IAI-HITM-U-? ~ Commit To – A Gathering About Something – Specificity – The More Focused And Particular A Gathering Is – The More Narrowly It Frames Itself And The More Passion It Arouses – Uniqueness – Is Another Ingredient – How Is This Meeting – Unique – ?

~ Y-P-MF-T-W-T-T-W ~ Your – Purpose – Move From – The – What – To – The – Why

~ A-W-YDI-ETYGT-A-D-R-AWA-KAWUYH-A-BOV ~ Ask – Why – You’re Doing It – Every Time You Get To – Another – Deeper – Reason – Ask Why Again – Keep Asking Why Until You Hit – A – Belief Or Value

~ FOYDOBFTAM-A-IAPTMBCAWTNTBT-E-WAMIN ~ Figuring Out Your Desired Outcome Brings Focus To A Meeting – And – It Allows People To Make Better Choices About Whether They Need To Be There – Even – Whether A Meeting Is Necessary

~ YAPTCPMPR:T-MTETCHYW-YG-A-Y-TBABTE-IWYOPAAGSOTR ~ You Are Proposing To Consume People’s Most Precious Resource: Time – Making The Effort To Consider How You Want – Your Guests – And – Yourself – To Be Altered By The Experience – Is What You Owe People As A Good Steward Of That Resource

~ HAP-YW-FIETMATDTAGR ~ Having A Purpose – You Will – Find It Easier To Make All The Decisions That A Gathering Requires

~ PIYB ~ Purpose Is Your Bouncer

~ VECWBETMW-YKWYG ~ Virtually Every Choice Will Be Easier To Make When – You Know Why You’re Gathering

~ TP-DL ~ The Purpose-Driven List

~ IPIE-EPCBH ~ Inviting People Is Easy – Excluding People Can Be Hard

~ S-W-O-I-B-WDWTDWTCOECP-ETGAMAS ~ Sometimes – We – Over-Include – Because – We Don’t Want To Deal With The Consequences Of Excluding Certain People – Especially Those Gifted At Making A Stink

~ AVOAN ~ A Venue Is A Nudge

~ TCOPIOMAT-ECBP-TC-D-TV-O-C-O-T ~ The Choice Of Place Is Often Made According To – Every Consideration But Purpose – The Cost – Determines – The Venue – Or – Convenience – Or – Traffic

~ WYCAVF-LR-YALTLO-YP-WIFTSBWFI ~ When You Choose A Venue For – Logistical Reasons – You Are Letting Those Logistics Override – Your Purpose – When In Fact They Should Be Working For It

~ E-SAST-E-TRFYC-WALI ~ Embodiment – Seek A Setting That – Embodies – The Reason For Your Convening – When A Location Inspires

~ WMHDRIT-TCOVIOOYMPLOYGB ~ What Many Hosts Don’t Realize Is That – The Choice Of Venue Is One Of Your Most Powerful Levers Over Your Guests’ Behavior

~ PAABTE-A-YSHYGIAPACTSYP ~ People Are Affected By Their Environment – And – You Should Host Your Gathering In A Place And Context That Serves Your Purpose

~ A-CS-FAGAPTR-A-IHCT-AW-TAGC-AIB-A ~ A – Contained Space – For A Gathering Allows People To Relax – And – It Helps Create The – Alternative World – That A Gathering Can – At Its Best – Achieve

~ DBACH-‘C’-ISDAK ~ Don’t Be A Chill Host – “Chill” – Is Selfishness Disguised As Kindness

~ AIAOC-IIE-JT-SAP-D-A-GR-ATTRE-A-IYDEF-OWSIAETO-P-D-A-GR ~ Authority Is An Ongoing Commitment – It Isn’t Enough – Just To – Set A Purpose – Direction – And – Ground Rules – All These Things Require Enforcement – And – If You Don’t Enforce Them – Others Will Step In And Enforce Their Own – Purposes – Directions – And – Ground Rules

~ GA-INAP-INTAOP-IIUPTAOTAG-TAFO-TAIJBTG

~ Generous Authenticity – Is Not A Pose – It’s Not The Appearance Of Power – It Is Using Power To Achieve Outcomes That Are Generous – That Are For Others – The Authority Is Justified By The Generosity

~ PYG ~ Protect Your Guests

~ TF-A-P-MIUOYA-I-TPOYG-FOA-FB-O-FTATTLIOP-VA ~ The First – And – Perhaps – Most Important Use Of Your Authority – Is – The Protection Of Your Guests – From One Another – From Boredom – Or – From The Additive Technologies That Lurk In Our Pockets – Vibrating Away

~ BBH-IYJAH-K-G-B-F-TWIO ~ Bad Behavior Happens – It’s Your Job As A Host – Kindly – Graciously – But – Firmly – To Ward It Off

~ PYG-I-IS-AETRTAGCEAARTRTE-A-IG-B-YDIFYG-ST-TDHT ~ Protecting Your Guests – Is – In Short – About Elevating The Right To A Great Collective Experience Above Anyone’s Right To Ruin That Experience – And – It’s Generous – Because – You’re Doing It For Your Guests – So That – They Don’t Have To

~ EYG ~ Equalize Your Guests

~ THMLTSTUAITOWFLC-IIITOWKHEWPOTWOMTGP ~ The Host Most Likely To Succumb To Ungenerous Authority Is The One Who Fears Losing Control – It Is In The Obsession With Knowing How Events Will Play Out That We Often Make Them Go Poorly

~ R-CCA-I-T-W-TIAMPTYEG-B-ERT-TRAT-AIT-WTOT ~ Rules – Can Create An – Imaginary – Transient – World – That Is Actually More Playful Than Your Everyday Gathering – Because – Everyone Realizes That – The Rules Are Temporary – And Is Therefore – Willing To Obey Them

~ S-AR-IUWAGWPTCIAWTNSNWD ~ Sometimes – A Rule – Is Useful When A Gatherer Wants People To Connect In A Way That Normal Social Norms Would Discourage

~ NSAFWL ~ Never Start A Funeral With Logistics

~ P-BYES-IHB-T-P-SSIGASBYWTBRATO ~ Priming – Before Your Event Starts – It Has Begun – The – Pregame – Should Sow In Guests Any Special Behaviors You Want To Blossom Right At The Outset

~ AGTCTAGAOTCTPOI ~ Asking Guest To Contribute To A Gathering Ahead Of Time Changes Their Perception Of It

~ AW-P-IIOT-CAD-T-UAAAGSCRT ~ As With – Purpose – It Is Often Through – Conflict And Disgruntlement – That – Underlying Assumptions About A Gathering’s Social Contract Reveal Themselves

~ NAP-T-NAG-ATWPPI-TNSWTPOTEI-A-IAPPFTRALOEP

~ Naming As Priming – To – Name A Gathering – Affects The Way People Perceive It – The Name Signals What The Purpose Of The Event Is – And – It Also Prepares People For Their Role And Level Of Expected Participation

~ TIIJTB-TAMCATWTROTYGACTP ~ The Invitation Is Just The Beginning – There Are Many Chances Along The Way To Reach Out To Your Guests And Continue The Priming

~ TAMTWYC-CAT-AP-B-YAYGCTSLT-APTTOTPRACPAAI-TFTBTGAATO ~ There Are Many Tiny Ways You Can – Create A Threshold – A Pause – Before – You And Your Guests Cross The Starting Line Together – A Passageway That Tunes Out The Prior Reality And Captures Peoples’ Attention And Imagination – The Final Transition Between The Guests’ Arrival And The Opening

~ HAAYG ~ Honor And Awe Your Guests

~ Y-O-NTBAKO-PST-IS-GP-IMPITTPFOBTWADGTBT-TTE-WTO-TVRTYFMTBAGOHBT-TTMYGPFITFM ~ Your – Opening – Needs To Be A Kind Of – Pleasant Shock Therapy – It Should – Grab People – It Must Plant In Them The Paradoxical Feeling Of Being Totally Welcomed And Deeply Grateful To Be There – Try To Embody – With That Opening – The Very Reason That You Felt Moved To Bring A Group Of Human Beings Together – Try To Make Your Gathering’s Purpose Felt In Those First Moments

~ CGC ~ Cause Good Controversy

~ LO-C-AA-MOPAMF-EW-IACWTCTFAIYWYGTTWT-RYP-RPOWWINEWIITFP ~ Like Openings – Closings – Are A – Moment Of Power And Memory Formation – Ending Well – Is A Crucial Way To Cement The Feelings And Ideas You Want Your Guests To Take With Them – Recall Your Purpose – Remind People Of Why What Is Now Ending Was Initiated In The First Place